My Love Is · That's The Way
by Ardespuffy
Summary: There's only so much you can learn about love from people around you - even if you happen to be surrounded by some fairly interesting specimens. ჯIchiHitsu, yaoi, full pairing inside.


_... Whenever I call you out_

_Whenever I draw you round_

_Whenever is here and now..._

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**I.**

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Under normal circumstances, 10th division Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro isn't one to roam aimlessly about other divisions headquarters. Normal circumstances, however, do not contemplate his fully grown fuktaichou going missing in the midst of a due working day, probably to get smashed at some pub with fellow slackers.

Toshiro groans inwardly at the much familiar scenario. Alright, so maybe his definition of 'normal circumstances' needs double-checking.

By the way, among Matsumoto's questionable acquaintances there's only one person the silver-haired prodigy has come to respect some, and that's precisely the reason why he's currently wandering around the 3rd division sparring grounds in search of a presumably sober, diligent blond lieutenant.

"Kira-fuktaichou? He has not been seen since early in the morning."

Famous last words. Toshiro waves in dismissal at the whatshisface seat before heading back, huffing grumpily at both his personal defeat and the Seiretei ranked officers' appalling lack of commitment. Seriously, what chance of becoming respectable captains did those goof-offs stand? God knows whiz kid Hitsugaya Toshiro has not gotten where he is by being a sluggish lazy ass. True, his famous natural talent sort of made his ascent smoother than most, but –

That's when a mob of fair hair comes in sight.

Toshiro sighs in contentment and increases the pace. Having given up all hope to find his target, the captain had taken a mostly desert back way to his personal quarters – one Matsumoto uses more often than not to pay lieutenant Kira a visit during their working hours, naively fooling herself into sneaking under her sharp captain's nose. With hindsight, Toshiro can't help finding the blond 2nd seat's presence in such a forsaken backyard kind of suspicious. Then again, every division of the Gotei 13 has got its secrets, and Hitsugaya knows better than to pry.

Kira is standing few steps ahead of him, his back turned, his shoulders sagged. Toshiro figures that, being a lieutenant, the boy should be totally immune to any sneaking up, so he doesn't bother to make his presence known before approaching him. The sight he's met with upon stepping closer, though, is not one he'd anticipated.

There's a shattered rock in the ground just at Kira's feet. The boy's bright azure eyes seem glued to the raw stone, veiled with an old emotion Toshiro hadn't seen on the fuktaichou's face since –

Everything's clear in a moment.

"We weren't able to retrieve Ichimaru's body from Hueco Mundo. Why a gravestone then?"

In spite of being visibly startled by the captain's harsh voice – guess melancholic reverie lowers even a lieutenant's ability at sensing reiatsu to an extent – Kira doesn't turn to face the newcomer, nor does he care to avert his gaze. "Very sharp of you to point out, Hitsugaya-taichou. Not that I'd expect any less." The boy gives a sidelong cheerless smile. "I guess I feel like it's my duty to keep him secluded from the rest of the world. Even if he's not, you know, here for real."

Something within the blonde's words makes Toshiro's heart clench in his chest. The kid captain takes in a deep breath to keep control over his voice. "Ichimaru was merely a traitor who went down as such. He doesn't deserve half of the regard you're paying to his memory. Have you forgotten what he did to you? How he used you, manipulated you to reach his – _Aizen's_ – goal?"

Kira still won't turn. In fact his knees seem to give away and he all but slumps down against the nameless makeshift headstone. Toshiro watches as the blond scrambles to sit up properly, Japanese style, his hands curled in white fists on his knees. "I remember everything." He utters at last in a soft, quiet tone. "That's why the gravestone."

Hitsugaya's gaze drifts from the kneeling boy to the rudimental rock in the ground. For a brief moment, Ichigo's image pops up in his mind – it's a bitter thought association, though, and Toshiro wills it to go away hastily. "Have a nice day, Kira." He mutters before turning to leave.

"Wait, taichou!" Izuru is back on his feet in a flash of black and white robes, a new steadiness to his previously tense voice. "What is it that you came to me for?"

The ice master casts the boy a quick look. His eyes are round and dry, his cheeks rosy, his posture firm, even the light smile is back in its usual place. Kira is putting up quite a good show not to look utterly heartbroken, and he's fairly succeeding – Toshiro has to give him that. "Never mind." He shrugs the matter off with a slight shake of his head, then resumes walking. It's pretty obvious the 3rd division vice captain would know nothing of Matsumoto's whereabouts anyway, and it isn't like the tempered woman can't look after herself.

The stern, albeit cracking at the edges look in Kira's eyes haunts the ice master all day.

_Go_ _ahead, boy. Practice makes perfect. _

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**II.**

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Ichigo can't help but pull a face at the sickening scene before his eyes. Honestly, the bloke is so fucking silly it's not even funny. "Such a pitiful display."

"Shut your trap, spiky head! Were you never taught not to annoy your betters while they're working?"

The whole thing is too ridiculous for the redhead to lay back and take it. "Like you're one to talk 'bout spiky heads!" He barks, pointing an indicative finger at Renji's pineapple hairstyle. "Besides, I would happily stay out of the way if only, a) there _were_ any of my betters around, and b) said self-proclaimed betters were not fucking _knitting_ in my bedroom!"

Renji makes a rude gesture at the homeowner without bothering to raise his gaze from the sand-coloured fabric in his lap.

Huffing in surrender, Ichigo flops down on the mattress beside the foolishly busy Shinigami. He sceptically eyes the torn cloak Renji is so devotedly stitching back up. "I don't understand why'd you even bother. 's not like Almighty Kuchiki Nii-sama can't afford to have another, definitely better one sewed up."

Those rough, tanned hands still awkwardly, their hold on the thin knitting needles slipping for a moment. A thick silence falls, then gets broken before Ichigo can consider shaking his friend awake. "This he gave it to me personally." Renji breathes, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "You're right, taichou's probably getting another cloak as we speak, but that's not the point. I have to prove him I can take good care of things that matter to me." A fiery dark gaze lifts to lock with Ichigo's puzzled one. "If he can't trust me with a piece of clothing, how can he with his sister's life? How can he – " Renji trails off mid-sentence, averts his eyes and picks up his work where he'd left off. The words he subsequently speaks are barely audible. "How can he trust me with his heart?"

Ichigo snorts loudly at the subdued expression on the other's usually smug face, thus hoping to hide the nervous fluttering in his own belly. Alright, so Renji is one pathetic bastard, but the demi-hollow wouldn't throw stones either. He's got a fair idea himself what it means to have a soft spot for somebody, especially some cold-hearted dumb excuse for a capt – Ichigo shakes the sappy bullshit out of his mind and picks up the discarded ball of thread at the edge of the bed.

Renji arches a quizzical eyebrow.

"Tch. You tell anyone about this I slice that pineapple on your head in two." The substitute Shinigami growls in warning, then grasps a needle himself and sets to unravel the pale golden hank.

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**III.**

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In the middle of the battle, possibly at the worst moment ever – just seconds before that sodding Arrancar releases his zanpakutō – a loud, harsh coughing is heard. Toshiro turns out of instinct, though he knows perfectly well what's up. "Ukitake-taichou!"

The long-haired man is slouched forward, his knees bent at an odd angle, a pale hand draped over his mouth to prevent the drops of blood from seeping through too evidently. Ever the conscientious leader, Toshiro muses: even at a time like this, the 13th division captain's main concern is not letting the enemy in on a blind spot of theirs.

"Taichou!" Kotetsu's frightened screaming pulls Hitsugaya out of his daydream pretty abruptly. What to do, damn, what to do? Toshiro looks frantically for someone, anyone close enough to carry Ukitake away without getting caught up in the Arrancar's fury. All members of the 4th squad, being the only qualified healers, have been ordered to stay back and not participate in the fight barring emergencies. Now, one would think a sodding captain bleeding his guts out on the ground made for an emergency alright, Toshiro growls to himself. The ice master turns to check his surroundings. While he's not the nearest Shinigami available, he happens to be the highest in rank – well, apart from Kyōraku-san, but the man is currently…

Where's Kyōraku gone to again?

"Alright, alright. Easy, everyone. You people, get outta the way, there's nothing to see!"

The pink-clad brunette must have used his shunpō to get rid of the pretty vicious opponent he'd been facing up until that moment and rush in Ukitake's aid, Toshiro considers, taken aback by the rapid shift in the 8th division captain's position. What Toshiro does not possess an explanation for, however, is the wicked grin on Kyōraku's tanned face.

"As I said, nothing to see! It's just an old sickly lad throwing a fit!"

Kotetsu and Kotsubaki gasp like they were one. "W-Wha, K-Kyōraku-taichou!"

"P-Piss off… Shunsui." It comes out as a pained, strained whimper, but no doubt Ukitake's very voice spoke. The white-haired man is down on his knees within moments, shaken by a harder fit of coughing.

Toshiro can't seem to concentrate on the battle anymore. Upon finishing off his personal opponent, an Adjuchas, with a fierce spurt of Hyorinmaru's bankai the ice master hurries beside the older captain, along with the 13th division competitive 3rd seats.

"Taichou!" "Ukitake-taichou!" "Please, do rely on me, taichou!" "Forget it, you're just a little girl! It's me taichou's going to rely on!"

"Ha! You hear your subordinates, Jūshirō? Talking o' you as a weakling to look after! Ma, what a pity, seriously! Why don't you just go home if you're too old and ill to be a good match for anyone? You're but a burden for the very people you should be protecting!"

"K-Kyōraku-taichou!" Kotetsu and Kotsubaki look ready to have a tantrum, while Toshiro, albeit bewildered at such straight-forwardness, doesn't fail to notice the passionate reaction Kyōraku's boldness elicits from the other captain.

Struggling to get back on his feet, Ukitake snorts among coughs. "You… wish!"

That's when Toshiro feels an unknown object being slipped in his hand. His attention drifts to the vial that was just placed on his palm – it doesn't take him long to recognize it as the 13th division captain's habitual med – then to the funnily dressed alcoholic who's still standing next to him, apparently engrossed in his bickering with just about anyone within reach. The moment Ukitake's breath gets caught again Toshiro wastes little time handing out the phial for the eager 3rd seats to give their beloved captain.

"Thank god you had this on you, Hitsugaya-taichou! You've saved taichou's life!"

Toshiro shoots Kyōraku a questioning glance, but the man's mischievous smile is all the answer he'll ever get.

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**IV.**

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"Ichi-GOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _Thump._ Keigo lands at the opposite end of the hallway, wind knocked out of him by a well-aimed kick in the face.

"Ha, goddamnit!" The harassed orange-haired teen brings a large palm to his face, then grunts. "If the idiot bleeds all over the floor Tatsuki'll have me stay after class to clean it up. Oi, Mizuiro!" Relief dripping from every syllable, Ichigo calls out for a dark-haired boy who's just turned around the corner. "Help him up, will ya?"

The shorter student doesn't look fazed in the slightest, as obviously used as he is to witnessing the same scene every single day. Mizuiro drags his feet to the spot Keigo has collapsed on the floor, puts an arm around the boy's middle and pulls him up, his vaguely mocking expression never altering. "Good morning, Ichigo." He greets with a calm smile on his lips while passing by the redhead.

"Oi, Mizuiro. Say something."

The dark-haired schoolboy stops just before crossing the threshold to their classroom. "What is it?"

Ichigo snorts at the other's perfectly collected composure, then gestures toward the half-conscious brunette in Mizuiro's arms. "Why don't you just ask him to stop fucking hassle me all the time? I can tell it bothers you too."

Kojima looks affronted for a moment. "Do you think he would listen to me?"

Nice try, Ichigo concedes. Too bad he's known the boy far too long to fall for it. That Mizuiro's innocence is but an act he's awfully good at putting up is something the redhead has learnt in time with no margin of error. "I know he would."

There it is, the telltale smirk giving the shorty's real intentions away. "Then you tell me. Why don't I ask Keigo to leave you be?"

The bell ringing disrupts them before Ichigo has the time to see through his classmate's stunt. Mizuiro gives his trademark 'win by default' smile and takes a step forth into the room – only to stop soon after and glance backward over his shoulder. "Every time you reject him he comes to cling more onto me. Simple as that, Ichigo."

The substitute Shinigami is left staring agape at his friend's retreating back. The cunning bastard!_ Wait_, something's not quite right with the definition – it's still bloody stalker Keigo they're talking about. _Geez, more like crazy masochist really. _

Seriously, Ichigo loves his mates, but this doesn't make them any less a bunch of weirdoes.

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**V.**

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He's fairly sure Matsumoto called it 'White Day'. Ichigo too had said something about it, though his face had been so red at the time Toshiro had not paid him much attention. Now the 10th division captain's got the feeling the whole 'mundane celebrations' thing has come back to bite him in the ass.

It's dawned on him the moment he laid eyes on the chocolate bar coming out of Yamada Hanatarō's pocket.

"Here! Your check-up results should be ready in a couple of days, at the latest. I'm afraid you won't be able to leave your room until then, though, taichou. You know many of us were involved in the recent battles, so we're kind of understaffed at the moment." The 7th seat scratches the back of his head in apologetic embarrassment.

"Fair enough. I can use a little break from my lieutenant every once in a while."

Hanatarō smiles politely at what he's pretty sure was a joke – you can never tell with the 10th division leader,_ he always wears such a serious expression!_ – then respectably bows and turns to take his leave.

"Wait, Yamada." Toshiro watches the chocolate bar reappear as the young Shinigami spins around. He sighs at the quizzical look on the boy's face. True, this is not the kind of thing he'd usually discuss with a subordinate; but desperate times call for desperate measures, and the ice master finds being trapped in a hospital bed far from the one person outside of Seireitei he truly cares for _on_ the day couples exchange gifts and all that sappy crap to be quite a desperate situation. "Didn't think you'd know about White Day. Sure there's plenty of lame traditions in the real world! I'm glad we've got no such distractions here."

"_Ano_… come again?"

"You've got some chocolate for Tsubokura-san right there, correct?" Toshiro waits for the unnecessary nod of confirmation. "And today is White Day, I'm positive. So it must be a, a token of affection, or something."

Hitsugaya has always taken pride in his lie detector abilities (it's no accident that his division's insignia represents mystery); yet his radar is currently feeling disorientated by the sheer sincerity in Yamada's voice. "Token – I'm sorry but, what is taichou talking about? I get Rin sweets everyday." Hanatarō pats the cohocolate bar in his pocket, feeling suddenly more than a little self-conscious. "He likes them very much. They… make him happy."

Before Toshiro has the chance to process the new bit of info the meek 7th seat is handing out the bright packet, both arms stretched forth, head bowed. "P-Please, forgive my insolence, I-I wasn't thinking. Might taichou be hungry?"

Groaning loudly, the swordsman rolls under the sheets and turns his back to the nurse boy. "Get outta my sight. You and your li'l friend go have your private lovey-dovey friggin' innocent party where I can't feel like shit about it."

Hitsugaya-taichou is babbling with his head buried into the pillow, so Hanatarō can convince himself he's not hearing what he's thinking he's hearing. The kid bows hastily even though his superior isn't looking at him. "As you wish, taichou. Have a nice, huh, White Day was it, taichou?" Then he hurries past the door and as far as possible from the room, wisely taking the major boost in Toshiro's sulking as his cue to leave.

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**VI.**

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"For the last time, 'twas just over there, you baldy!"

"Like hell it was!"

"You're not making any sense."

"You are not!"

Standing side by side at the edge of the road, close enough for their arms to touch but not quite for safety, Ichigo and Toshiro exchange a meaningful glance.

"Listen baldy, we came that way, you there?"

"That's why we can't possibly be _going_ that way! C'mon, Yumi, you can't not see it!"

"What I do see is a stubborn baldy –

"Stop callin' me that!"

" – who's going to get us lost in the outer space for he just can't admit to not knowing the way back!"

"Fuck this! Y'know what, I'm going my way, you get lost your way and if it's fated we'll meet again somewhere midway."

"This is stupid, I don't feel like coming to your rescue when you get sucked in by a black hole."

"Then fuckin' get along with what I'm saying!"

"The hell I am! Why don't _you_ get along with what _I_ – "

Ichigo hears his partner sigh audibly. Judging by the deep crease on Toshiro's forehead, it won't be long until the kid captain loses his proverbially short temper.

"_Because_ what you're saying is stupid!"

"Well, what you are saying is wrong!"

"Listen, why don't we just deal with this the adult way?"

"…"

"…"

"JAN-KEN-PON!"

Toshiro lets out such a pitiful whine Ichigo actually feels a pang of sympathy spring inside of him. Their fingers brush lightly, though both pretend not to notice.

"Not again! Shit, that's what you get for spending your whole afterlife with someone! We're merging together!"

"Okay, that's it. Compromise. We take the route you're suggesting – "

"Ha! Come to your senses, have you?"

" – _which_ is definitely the wrong one, and I get the tent all to myself next time we're camping for a mission."

"Tent? Ha, the fuck I care 'bout a tent! Real men don't mind sleeping outside!"

"All the better for me then. Deal?"

"Deal it is!"

Ichigo watches the 11th division seats go down the chosen route and fade out of their sight. An amused grin lights up the substitute Shinigami's usually scowling face.

"Say… why have we not helped them?"

The redhead smirks and shakes his head, eyes following Ikkaku's and Yumichika's disappearing silhouettes. "I figured Shinigami were supposed to know a Senkaimon can materialize anywhere as long as you've got one of those creepy butterflies with you!" Ichigo turns to wink at the grumpy boy beside him. "That and, you don't interfere between husband and wife."

Toshiro's inner righteous taichou blushes with outrage. "Tch. S'pose they do sound like an old married couple." Agrees the kid on the outside.

They're silent for several moments before the ice master speaks up again.

"Madarame and Ayasegawa were both wrong."

"I know."

"That means they're heading in the wrong direction."

"They are."

"Bet their Jigokuchō will be pissed like hell."

"Guess so."

"Yet Ayasegawa is making a profit on this."

"Yeah."

Toshiro scratches the back of his head in defeat. "I don't get it."

Now Ichigo really, really feels like doing something terribly stupid like putting an arm around the shorter boy's shoulders and giggle – _giggle_, for fuck's sake – merrily in his ear, but that would break about seventeen of their Unspoken Rules of Public Conduct altogether, ad he's not willing to risk spoiling such a rare moment of quiet. Smiling at Toshiro's reaction like he's just pictured it in his mind Ichigo shrugs. "I think we witnessed the sealing of some sort of, y'know, give-and-take." _But I wouldn't gamble on who gives n' takes what between those two. _"Am told it's not infrequent in relationships."

The last sentence has Toshiro muse for a moment, his brow twitching with – Ichigo figures – the effort to wrap his prodigious mind around such silly, petty matters. All of a sudden there's a menacing index pointing straight at the demi-hollow's face, shaking slightly with, ferocity? "Let's set things straight, Kurosaki." The captain barks, boring his translucent eyes into Ichigo's chocolate brown ones. "We will _never_ be like them." His words get through to the redhead with no chance of misunderstanding.

Ichigo's mind begins wandering. They're all one in the end – Renji with his determination, Mizuiro and his selfish act, even the two freaks from Zaraki's squad, them creatures of habit – all loving and dreadful and wrong their own way, and it works out just fine for each and every one. Toshiro needs not worrying, really – they too will grow their personal bubble of weirdness and folly in time, different from anybody else's. "Never like them," now sounds like a promise. Little does Ichigo know his lover's thoughts are drifting just the same as his own.

Kira's relentless devotion, Kyōraku's discreet from-afar caring, Yamada's disarming kindness, even Madarame and Ayasegawa's little give-and-take game… Toshiro scowls at the mental images. None of these would ever work for Kurosaki and himself, but they'll probably figure out something their own on the way. The silver-haired captain holds his partner's stare with a new resolve to his eyes. "Never like them. Just, kind of like us. Okay?" Then a small, white hand is slipping to grab a larger, rougher one, and fingers are entwining like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Ichigo has lost count on how many of their Rules that single action is breaking, but he doesn't give a damn and, _and_ if Toshiro doesn't either then it really must be natural and right for them. The redhead's grin couldn't get any wider. "Sure. Like us. Kinda. Got it."

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… _Whenever I call you out_

_Whenever I draw you round_

_Whenever is here and now…_

_That's the way my love is__,_

_That's the way I care._

_You should call on me baby,_

_I'm always there._

_That's the way my love is for you__._

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**Okay, so, I don't know what came over me '^^. Hope it was enjoyable... whatever it was. Feel free to review! *w* (shameless attention whoring mode:ON)**

**DISCLAIMER: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. Song's performed by Smashing Pumpkins.**


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